The Candy Kitchen
Poletown, Detroit
Eastertime
And Me, the Kid



Watercolor on paper (18 x 24) courtesy of multimedia artiste Michele T. Fillion

I grew up in a neighborhood of the Detroit inner city known as Poletown, the famous community of Polish immigrants first settled in the 1870’s. Almost all of it was flattened in the early 1980’s to make way for economic development. "They paved paradise and put up a ..."

The whole of Poletown was razed to accommodate the new Cadillac plant. Up until that time the existing factory in another part of town was a very antiquated multi-story structure and the new plant was constructed in the modern, more efficient single level design. At the time, the then mayor planned placing the new factory in that spot as an commercial development project and as an important tax revenue source for the city.

There’s the story of a low wage working stiff in Detroit who saved and scraped up his whole life to buy a brand new Cadillac when he retired. On that happy day as soon as he took ownership and drove it off the dealer’s lot, a persistent irritating knocking noise developed. He brought the shiny behemoth back to the dealership to fix, but nothing could be found. After many more visits and not a little expense, the exasperated fellow had the service center literally tear the car apart. They finally found it. There inside the door was a loose nut, but not a piece that was part of the car. Tied to the nut was a note: I hope you have a hard time finding this, you rich sonofabitch!]

I recently learned in looking into the history of the demise of Poletown that the church of my baptism, Immaculate Conception, was the site of a sit-in protest against the razing of the neighborhood and all the forced relocations. None other than Mr. Ralph Nader joined the campaign to save Poletown. 
“On Bastille day, July 14 1981, the police assembled an armada of forces and at daybreak began to seal off the neighborhood preparing to evict those occupying the church.”

The Immaculate Conception Church was a small gem in my old neighborhood. My grade school was directly across the street and we went to Holy Mass every school day. I was an altar boy there and even had to serve at Mass during the summer months. There is a lot of church deep in my blood. Read Why Can't I Be Good for more of my Catholic school daze.

The centerpiece of the altar was a most beautiful and graceful life sized statue of the Blessed Mother. I visited Detroit recently when we had a funeral service for my mother. Saint Hyacinth is the church where my mother was married and it seemed fitting to have her Detroit family and friends congregate there for her memorial service. A very nice surprise I found there was a small chapel niche where the statue of Mary from Immaculate Conception is installed. Along with her flanking angels and some sections of the communion rail from the demolished church.



The side altar including statues of the Blessed Mother and angels from Immaculate Conception.
Saint Hyacinth Roman Catholic Church 3151 Farnsworth Detroit (Poletown) Michigan
But, when I was a boy, Poletown was also my hood. And a certain candy shop was my church of sweet refuge. There are so many other deeply felt and precisely recalled memories of that neighborhood. But I want to remember one that was for me as a boy an integral part of the richness of life, and particularly so during the Easter season: The Candy Kitchen.

The Candy Kitchen of my youth is also gone. I don’t know if it closed when the owners retired, but I do know that it is buried somewhere under the Cadillac Poletown factory. It was located on a corner at the intersection of Chene and Trombley streets. Across the street from the Chene and Trombley Lanes where I learned to bowl, when school boys worked as pin spotters, and on Friday evenings there was an excellent fish fry on the restaurant menu.

And just down a few doors was the barber shop where most of my preteen hair was shorn. I mention that place because a striking memory was how it was lined with mirrors on each side of its length. The effect was psychedelic, you could look and see a progression of reflections out to infinity. Do you ever wonder what is there when one mirror faces another? Kind of like... if a tree falls in the woods and you're somewhere else (or, a bear is in the woods and does something, who knew?). My brother's friend Bob had this ultra cool flat top brush haircut. His was particulary excellent because he had this major widow's peak at his front hairline and it made the flat top look, well, pretty cool. Bob said he went for his hair cut at a shop way over on the West Side that was the palace of flat tops, specialized in them. My own barber could never quite get it to my satisfaction. When you say flat top, you want FLAT on top. Capiche, Italiano? Once out of his own exasperation with me, and taking advantage of his adult status, he embarrassed me in front of all the waiting clientele by putting, really plopping, a telephone book on my head to guage the flatness. I didn't have the nerve to press further to tell him that a telephone book doesn't lay flat, on your head anyway.

The last thing about the barber shop I promise to get you along to the end of this soon was the magazine selection. Where else but the barber shop could a boy get a glimpse of what we now call, adult content. I remember Terry Moore and her tight angora sweater; so nicely filled out all pert, perky and pointy. Just to recall how those were simpler times, I also remember myself handling a tabloid that claimed the front page headline was impregnated with LSD, and all you had to do was to go home and place the page in some ethyl alcohol and drink it to get the effect. Holy Cow! Those were the days. Psycedelic, for sure. (The newspaper was later denounced for giving bad instructions about the kind of alcohol to use. Something about it being poisonous. Nothing that I recall about the LSD. Hey, kids. Just say NO to babershop reading material! And, to ethyl alcohol.)

Continuing along... When I was a grade schooler we lived on the East Grand Boulevard near Trombley. The Candy Kitchen was a short four block hop from my house. After schoolwork on many an evening I would trek through the night — even in the dead of winter, snow up to here — to enjoy a delicious banana split at the mecca of wonderful sweetness.

The Candy Kitchen must have been there from the early 1900’s. A lot of towns have a shop called the Candy Kitchen. In St. Louis still chugging along there is the Crown Candy Kitchen that dates back to 1913.
 Images from Crown Candy Kitchen St. Louis
At a place with that name you can expect to find all kinds of goodies, but mainly a wide variety of homemade chocolates. There’s probably an owner operator, some old timer in the back who’s been at it for a lot of years. And, unless someone from the new generation steps up to take over, the place will probably close when the maestro retires.

My Candy Kitchen was a big brick corner building, with display windows on either side of the center door. The left window usually featured colorful candies of all kinds, but it was the window to the right that was the showstopper. Come Easter the display on the right side was the zenith of the chocolatier’s art. More on that in a moment.

Inside was a huge space with a high tin paneled ceiling and floors covered in those old fashioned glazed ceramic hexagonal white tiles with black borders and accents. On the right as you entered were the oak and beveled glass cases filled with an assortment of all types of handmade chocolate bonbons. On top of the cases and on the shelves in back were huge jars filled with a rainbow of colorful sugary treats. One jar that I visited often was the one with rock candy. One of my favorite fascinations, rock candy, translucent crystals of pure sugar formed around thin white strings. How’d they do it?

The back of the store was separated by a white lattice gazebo style partition. Potted palms, here and there. In the center back there were tables and along the walls booths painted white and in the same gazebo motif. I never ever saw anyone sitting there and I imagined there were ghosts from an earlier time when bobby soxers would come in after school and hang out nursing a soft drink and listening to bebop on the juke box. The kind with the real bubble lights and actual vinyl discs. Or, in an even earlier time, when a fella would take his gal for a date and linger over a shared milk shake with two straws and some innocent flirtation.

On the left side of the shop in front was a small showcase with packaged items such as gums and Life Savers and such and the cash register. But the crown jewel of the whole shebang was the soda fountain. About eight or so floor-mounted high stools set before a bar of solid swirled gray marble. Right behind was the usual wet bar set up replete with sweet condiments and syrupy flavorings. Naturally, there was a fancy dispenser tap with plain water and fizzy soda. Not the flavored soda like now, just (2 cents) plain seltzer. The syrups were added to order.

And, finally, up against the wall an elaborate carved wood built-in of dark mahogany done in the art nouveau style. A counter set up with glassware, a milk shake blender, and a dispenser of malt powder for those malted milk shakes. Straws and the ever present jar of foot long pretzel sticks. And behind it all, 3 large expanses of mirrors framed in finely carved wood. A palace. An altar?

Whenever I visited the Candy Kitchen there were two people in charge who I would always see there. Besides the pièce de résistance front Easter window, those two were amazing to behold. From my young point of view both the man and the woman were in their early 30’s. Both had jet black hair, well groomed, and always dressed in black and white. He with black slacks and a crisp white shirt, sleeves rolled up to do serous ice cream scooping. She with a close fitting long black skirt, a tight belt, and frilly white blouse buttoned right up to the neck. He had a barrel chest, a swarthy mustache, and the large hooked nose of a sinister swashbuckling pirate. Her luxurious dark hair was done up flamboyantly with fancy combs, ruby red lips, and lots of dark eye makeup. Also, quite a chest, herself. Woof! I imagined they were a married couple. It’s just that they didn’t look like the sort that you would find in a quaint candy store. They were "muy" sexy and very mysterious. Adding to the mystery, they never spoke to me (or to one another when I was there) except to ask me what I wanted. And they always prepared my ice cream sundae or banana split with meticulous care.

Particularly on those winter evenings that I remember going there, imagine this young kid sitting at the counter making love to his ice cream delight and these two theatrical figures waiting on me who looked like they were right out of central casting in some Mickey Spillane pulp steamer. I took due notice, but the dish in front of my face commanded my full attention.

So now to the Easter window at the Candy Kitchen.

After taking you by the long scenic route I am now confronted with the task of paying off the reader’s expectation with a description full of wonder and awe. My powers of painting with words have limits. It would be helpful if you also summoned up your own feeling of wonder and awe to supplement my attempts to recreate the excitement of a young lad looking in on a window with what to my small eyes looked like a half ton of chocolate. All done in the most carefully and artfully molded Easter shapes.

The display was set up in a stepped vertical arrangement so that the whole impression was a wall of chocolate set against a waterfall of decorative green plastic grass. Plenty of crisp white doilies under each group. There was always a chocolate bunny so big that I couldn’t imagine ever being able to deserve one that big. I don't know if it was solid chocolate through and through, but I prefer to imagine that it was. We’re talking two foot high rabbit here, easy! And a retinue of lesser bunnies in various sizes and poses. Several typical colorful woven Easter baskets each filled with assorted goodies, also in a variety of sizes. One for every pocketbook. Wrapped in colorful celophane with big satin ribbons.

But the main thing that I could never ever imagine getting my hands on was the centerpiece basket. Made entirely of chocolate; the square basket and the round handle, solid milk chocolate. Intricately formed to resemble a real basket. And then filled with more chocolates. Have some chocolate with your chocolate, why don't you?

I would many times just walk down to stand and gaze at the spellbinding vision of that window.

Now, alas, it is only a bittersweet memory. Ah, yes.

But now, look what the Easter Bunny brought for you!

Notice below the sugar egg. When I was a boy we had a sugar panorama egg as big as a football. It was kept in its own box and came out once a year at Eastertime. Inside that egg were colorful paper cut outs of boys and girls and bunnies and chicks on a green grassy field. Each year I looked forward to have a peek. It never got old. Ever new. That's Easter for you.




Happy Easter.




---
My Coach

 




In the early 1960s during my undergraduate years I had the good fortune to go to college on an athletic scholarship. As a varsity fencer on the University of Detroit Fencing team. Go Titans! The épée was my weapon of battle. Mr. Richard Perry was my coach. 
     
Below is a photo of me from the U of D 1964 Tower yearbook. Also, my good buddy Tom Kostecke. More about our exploits further along in this article.



As a fencer I was a middling performer. I did, however, win a gold medal in an individual tournament for unclassified fencers sponsored by the AFLA, Amateur Fencing League of America. There was also a tournament where my performance was the tie breaker. And, I was the big winner at a restaurant at supper with my team mates once upon a time. More on my storied past later. But, all in all, not too shabby.
     
Looking around in my history to find singular subjects to write about, I realize that Coach Perry was a very important figure in my education as an athlete, and as a man.
     
Coach Perry was not just about training us to be successful competitive fencers (at which, by the way, he was a master teacher). But also, he held it equally his responsibility to us to build good character and to inculcate lessons on the enduring life values; things like sportsmanship, teamwork, integrity, optimism, good cheer, loyalty, confidence, self-respect, dependability, work ethic, and even how to eat like a gentleman at a fancy restaurant. I remember his inscription on my graduation year team photo, ever encouraging and reassuring that I could do anything I set out to do if I put my mind and heart to it. Thank you, Coach Perry. I’m getting there.
     
We even had some training in everyday diplomacy and tact in the face of adversity. On the many weekend trips for matches away from home turf, those who got to ride in the coach’s drafty station wagon were treated to the continuous production of richly scented smoke from his never ending supply of Brindley’s Mixture pipe tobacco. It’s a classic, still sold today. If you want to share the team’s experience driving through the cold night in the coach’s drafty car, get some Brindley’s Mixture and smoke a big bowl full in a small room seated next to an open window in the dead of winter. And, if you have one, a small fan blowing into the room will complete the experience.
     
Oh, and I think I remember that he had a preference for classical music. I’m sure he was completely convinced that he was doing a good deed and exposing his boys to the cultural refinements of life. Boys, however, will be boys. Suffice it to say, it was a combination of variables that tested a young man’s tact to the limit. But, youth is resilient. No one let on or complained. The team was too large to fit into one car, so we usually borrowed a dad’s vehicle or got a rental. There was a rather definite, if nuanced and tactful competition to ride in the second car. There, the rule was rock and roll and permission to speak freely. I remember once even interrupting the festivities for everybody to hear the latest new sensation on the car radio, The Beatles; coming in loud and clear in the night ethers from WBZ Boston.
     
Coach Perry was a rather tweedy fellow, professorially so. Besides the Brindley’s Mixture and the classical music on his car radio, a singular memory is the loden green Tyrolean felt hat, the kind with the cord band and the ornate panache with assorted feathers and boar bristle brush. The Coach I think prided himself in being resourceful, and I wonder if he in fact didn’t use that bristle brush to work up his shaving lather. I haven’t seen the old guy in a while and I wonder if he still sports that trademark fedora. I’ll bet, if he does, there are more than a few medals festooned on it.
     
I want to certainly credit the Coach for establishing the Fencing Team as enduring presence in the college athletic program. Football had been dropped from the athletic department and basketball ruled. [Dave Debusshere and Charley North were amazing in the early 1960s.] At the time in the early years of the fencing program the Athletic Department may not have been all that supportive, particularly financially. The coach I suspect did his battle with the higher ups and shielded us from the harsh realities of keeping fencing alive. Today the university is proud of its successful and dynamic fencing program. Thank you, Mr. Perry.
     
As I mentioned, we travelled to away competitions. Setting off on Friday afternoon, fighting the matches on Saturdays and back home by Sunday evening. From Detroit we travelled as far south as Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. West to Indiana, Iowa, and even up to Madison, Wisconsin. East to Oberlin and Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburg. North, not that far to go to meet Michigan State.
     
We arrived at Duke late one Friday evening. What a beautiful campus. Like the grounds of some medieval village it seemed to me. My buddy Tom Kostecke and I managed to get an after-hours tour of the chapel there. In fact, the organist who opened the locked door for us even played a little for us. It was like a dream being in that rare and exotic place. I believe they call it a chapel; it’s a cathedral really.
     
In one weekend we managed to have matches with the University of Iowa in Iowa City and Iowa State in Ames. One thing I remember about that trip was the breakfast at a truck stop. Words to the wise from the coach: “If you want a good meal, go were the truckers go.” All for something like $2.50 I had orange juice, coffee, a big glass of milk, oatmeal, eggs, hash browns, bacon and toast. Maybe even a slice of pie. I don’t recall exactly. Kids in college have bottomless stomachs.
     
In Indiana we once competed with Notre Dame. That may be a good school, but they are my most loathed of athletic opponents. They were arrogant and cocky coming onto the floor, during the match, and leaving. They were good and beat us handily. But keeping that game face on all the time. As hosts they were the worst. When you compete in sports, you get to know one another’s character. Notre Dame, not so much. I’m sure that some good souls must have matriculated from there, but then I think of Regis Philbin. (I kid.)
     
At the University of Wisconsin in Madison in my senior year I had my moment of crowning glory. In a collegiate team there are three weapons: saber, foil, and épée. They differ in weapon design, style of play, and body target areas. For each weapon there are three team members competing, a total of nine players on each team. Each competitor fights all three from the opposing team. That means there are 27 bouts, and the team that gets at least 14 wins the match.
     
At that match in Madison I remember having finished two of my three bouts with our team score on the cusp of victory at 13 to 8 or 9. Naturally, with only one bout needed to win the match I felt confident we would win and felt no pressure coming into my own last match. Well, as I sat there watching the play, the score kept changing, but on Wisconsin’s side only. Finally, and to my shock, we were at 13 to 13 with one match to clinch the tournament. And guess who that honor fell to: C'est moi. You have to know that I was not all that top a performer and my senior year was rather sketchy up until that point. But, remember I did hint that this would be my pinochle [or is it “pineapple,” Mr. Gorsey? This is an obscure cinematic reference which you either get or you don’t].
     
So here’s how it went. The épée is a weapon with an electrically actuated tip. A touche can be scored anywhere on the body. [Coach Perry insisted that the main target in épée is the wrist. It’s the closest vulnerable spot. Points can be scored anywhere else on the body; but if, for example, you are able to hit the chest, you’re just too close defensively.] The one place that a point can’t be registered is on the weapon itself. An epee has a large round guard (to protect that wrist, remember) and it gets a lot of hits there. So, before the start of the match the competitors have to check each other’s weapon to verify that the guard is grounded, won’t register if hit. During this transaction, my competitor — who I recall went to the NCAA fencing finals — gets real close and whispers, “I feel sorry for you.” My reposte, “Let’s fence.” He lost the bout right there and then. Trash talk is for pussies.
     
Because the match went down to the proverbial wire, with mine being the deciding bout, there was a good bit of jubilation with the win and after all the suspense. Coach Perry and I were carried off the floor into the locker room on the shoulders of the team. Nice, huh? In the locker room we enjoyed champagne. Tom Kostecke and I, buddies in crime, had secreted a bottle of the bubbly for just such an occasion. Speaking of crime, Tom went on to be a G-Man and is currently a Private Eye. I asked him why he wanted to get into that field and he said that he liked to get to carry a gun and wear a badge. Well, OK!
     
My weapon throughout my competitive career was the épée. But Coach Perry had the idea that because I was a big guy, the saber would also be a good fit. Saber competition is a real fight. You can score on the torso with a point touch, but the style is mostly like in the movies ... slashing away. 

During one summer he gave me private lessons in the saber. A cardinal point in defense with the saber is to always come back to en garde with the guard of the weapon facing outward to your side. In that position any attack to that side is by default protected. I say that is a cardinal rule because the coach drilled on it on every move. Since it was summer and very warm, I wore a t-shirt, not the typical thick protective canvas jacket. The other thing about the saber you should also know is that the blade is very flexible. Think, metal whip. So every time I would go back to the en garde position the Coach would come back with a solid whack to my defended side. I mostly got it about the importance of the ready position; but that flexible blade made it around more than a few times and I went home with a nice collection of welts as tangible reminders to, as they say, keep my guard up.
     
As I said, saber of the three weapons most resembles a fight. To be good at it you have to be an aggressive fighter. I am quite sure, without having said so directly, Coach Perry was also attempting in those taps on the shoulder to get my boil up. 

It takes a lot to unleash the monster that lurks in the heart of this good boy. I always say that my downfall was that I was a good boy. Now I realize that all of it, what in you is both good and bad, is there to be used. Appropriately so, to be sure; but all of it nonetheless.
     
It seems that in reminiscing about my days as a varsity fencer and Coach Perry, the road trips are prominent in my recall. As I said, the Coach was into the making of the whole man and we had our training in the social graces on every trip.
     
Each of us got a small stipend for expenses on each road trip. The Coach appreciated the good life and so we sought out the best restaurant in each town to have our team big night out. In Indianapolis we dined at the King Cole Restaurant and I remember enjoying a most decadent Strawberries Romanoff. Whenever we could we would stop at Win Schuler’s Restaurant in Marshall, Michigan. At Win Schuler’s you sat down to house appetizers of Swedish meat balls in gravy, a big celery/radish/olive plate, and that crock of spicy cheddar cheese spread. Lots of different kinds of breads. Some rolls got tossed around and the Coach was a good sport about that. College guys eat big. At the time at Win Shuler’s they had a deal that if you could polish off their generous cut of roast prime rib of beef, you could have another for free. I did. A champ at last.
     
One time in an unexpected and rather personal moment Coach Perry got me aside and made me promise that if I saw that as he aged he was becoming senile, I would say something.
     
Well, Coach… Keep on goin’, you’re lookin’ good.


PS
     
After attempting to get in touch with Mr. Perry through the Athletic Department at the University of Detroit Mercy I learned from the Athletic Director there that he had passed away in 2005. "...he is still remembered dearly by many and even has the Olympic Sports Hall of Fame area in Calihan Hall named in his honor."
     
I'm thinking again of his private lessons with me to make me into a saber man. And those whacks to the arm. As a teacher now myself I understand that there are lessons that are given, more in the doing than in the saying. I don't know what Coach Perry saw in me at the time, but his actions were, and still are, powerfully instructive to me in the broad life context.
     
Even then I knew that somehow those whacks to the arm to confirm my defense in the en garde position in saber had more in them than just drilling in correct form into muscle memory. I realize those slaps were attempts to open me to my inner strengths. In terms of saber, to tap into my aggressive and assertive power. In me, those strengths were held in check, bottled up, kept there from days of being a good boy, going along sometimes to the disregard of my inner message, and living under the rule of "children should be seen and not heard." As children we all have to learn to conform to the prevailing conditions. Hopefully, along the way, we have the fortune to learn from wise teachers how to live not only appropriately to the times and circumstances, but also authentically, true to our inner voice and true to the situation, clearly seen.
     
There is a quote from the Gnostic Gospels attributed to Jesus: "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." Not to make too much of a point about his excellence as a teacher, but the point has not been lost on me even after all these years.
     
In gratitude, Mr. Perry.


From Todd Dressell, Head Coach Men's & Woman's Fencing, University of Detroit Mercy:
David,
Thanks for your note. Your memories of Maestro Perry are very similar to my own. 
When I started Fencing at Oakland University, I knew him as the “Old Man” from UDM.  He comforted me during a competition when a strip accident resulted in my broken sabre going into my opponent’s leg.  He was a very kind man.  Later when I opened a fencing club, Maestro was the first man I called to get his advice and input.  He taught me how to lead a team of fencers, how to be patient and wiley.  He was a very clever man.   I have a photo in our practice room it is a fencer Terrell Reber fencing at a home meet.  In the foreground, there is Terrell, the coach at the time Roz Boghikian refereeing with several bouts going on up and down the arena floor.  In the background, out of focus but unmistakable, is Maestro Perry; sitting on the bleachers with a fencer, hands in front showing/explaining something or another.  In my fencing room he is always there, in the background.   He always enjoyed the background, and watching the result of his teaching, guidance or engineered situations.  He was a very wise man. 
Me To Coach Dressell:
Yes, I remember, he liked "Maestro."
His arch rival during my time on the team was the coach at Wayne State University, Isvan Danosi. (He also passed away in 2005.) He was also called “maestro” by his fencers. A very flamboyant Hungarian gentleman who held himself with a kind of 19th Century noble bearing, thick accent. And, the exotic name to back it up. Maestro Danosi seemed to relate to Coach Perry as if on some higher plane. Maybe it was just his demeanor only. Even so, Mr. Perry surely must have felt his equal having that title “maestro” for himself.








The Sheeny Man

Photo Credit:  Sarabeth Turnbull Samoray from Detroit Memories

This is about being green in my neighborhood in Detroit in the 1950’s when the only thing about green was the grass, colorful characters no longer on the scene, and the creativity of a mother to keep her wild child son (that would be me) under control.

First off, I really wasn’t a wild child. If anything, as I like to say, my downfall was that I was a good boy. You know there are times in even a young life when you have to honor your inner voice and do what others may not understand or agree with or approve of. As a man I have had my share of those kinds of transactions. Being good is good. But, don’t confuse being good with doing the right thing. What others may think of me is none of my business.

I just grew up in a time and place where children “should be seen and not heard” and where the good Felician Sisters at my grade school in Detroit, Immaculate Conception, mainly looked upon the youth in their charge as born devils first, who what need to be strictly and sternly shaped into God fearing little Catholic boys and girls. Those were not spare the rod times. I very clearly remember a certain nun in my first grade class who was given to regular tirades on our misbehaving ways. She made it plain that had she not gone into the convent she would most certainly have been a movie star. I still feel guilty over having her sacrifice such an illustrious career to find herself spending her energy trying to keep kids like me out of juvenile detention.

Enough about that, just to also recount how one day the good Sister was holding forth—apparently we were talking when we shouldn’t have… again!—literally daring us to talk. Of course, we daren’t. When, all of a sudden, her dentures — uppers and lowers — dropped onto the desk. Honest to God! If we were silent before, the sight of that... froze. It was a laughable sight, but with some consequences if you did. My good Mom one day hovered outside our classroom window to get a firsthand for herself on my report of the verbal abuse. She got it for herself and took the matter to Sister Superior. Thanks for having my back, Mom.

I do have to say that it wasn’t all whips and chains with the Sisters. I would sometimes with another boy have to do some chore in the convent. Usually, carrying something. The Sisters had this little electric Eucharist maker that they made the hosts for communion at mass. Since the hosts were cut into circles, there were scraps. That was a treat they gave us. Really a treat. To a Catholic, a most heavenly flavor. If you want to try it for yourself, convert to Catholicism, and then receive Holy Communion. For those who don’t give a literal damn about the future of their immortal souls come the end of your days, just go down to you neighborhood Polish store and ask for opłatek.

To be fair and balanced, there was also a nun who to me as a kindergarten child was an absolute saint. I was totally in love with her. She looked like an angel and treated me with the utmost kindness and respect. Rare, however, not the usual. But, as I myself said to my own daughters when they would complain about their teachers, there is something there to learn from the way the teacher interacts with you. On the upside and on the down. It’s not just about the three R’s. The world is fool of fulls. Yes, I did that on purpose.

My neighborhood was in a section of Detroit known a Poletown.  Lots of Poles. You should know that the entire neighborhood was razed in 1981 to make way for a Cadillac factory. This was not taken too well by a lot of folks. Read this good commentary on the razing of Poletown. In that neighborhood each block had an alley onto which garage doors would open. Since the alleys were paved (and clean… these were Polish people, remember) the alley was a playground for the kids.

Also, coming down the alley on a regular weekly basis was the Sheeny Man. Now, the term was originally a pejorative. But, in the time of my youth in the mid-1900 Detroit, it just meant the fellow (this was man’s work in those times, so don’t write me with any feminist issues) who came along to pick up the hard trash you couldn’t bag up for the regular garbage. The Sheeny Man I remember drove a wreck of an old lorry pulled by a wreck of an old horse. He pretty much looked like a wreck himself. 



He would announce himself with the sound of the toot of a simple tin whistle.


My mother would be on the lookout for the Sheeny Man if she had an old iron or beds spring, lamp or anything metal, heavy, and junk.

I do also remember that one of the motivators she used with me when I was being bad (who, me?): “I’m going to give you to the Sheeny Man!” OMG! Then, of course, as you can imagine from what I have said about my Catholic school education, there was the eternal fires of Hell or the seemingly unending penance of Purgatory. Truly motivating. But being tossed out to go with the Sheeny Man is right up there, threat-wise.

What more can I say. Just, behave yourself! Or...


Actually, the Sheeny Man was a pretty friendly fellow. There were times when I was lamenting my fate with the parents that I was given (even wondering if I might have been adopted... who are these people?) that going with the Sheeny Man might have seemed like an option.

Nah!

Here's HistoryMike with more on the Sheeny Man. Especially, read the comments for further elaborations.














My Errant Youth ...



Why Can’t I Be Good

I am the product of what’s called a Catholic school education. Grade school at Immaculate Conception in the then Poletown section of inner city Detroit. “Then,” because that historic immigrant community was dispossessed to make way for a Cadillac factory in the early 1980’s.



There was quite a lot of community resistance to the razing of that neighborhood. Mr. Ralph Nader even joined the battle. I read that he and the group of protest organizers set up headquarters in the basement of Immaculate Conception church.

That basement was a focal point for me several times in my formative years.

The basement itself was a full basement, exactly the size of the footprint of the church itself. Easily large enough to accommodate 500 seats. At the head of the space, directly under the altar, was a raised stage, and directly opposite on the other side was a huge walk in room where various liturgical items were stored. It was also the gathering/changing room for the altar boys when on special occasions the whole bunch of us were conscripted into spectacular service. The dress code was a cassock—black for most days, red for holidays—and a white blousy surplice on top. My mother took special pains to see that my surplice was always snow white and crisply starched. Somewhere there is a portrait of her little angel in full regalia, at a kneeler with nothing but heavenly thoughts showing on my face. This is what the outfit looks like. (The little devil in the photo is not me. But close.)



The Immaculate Conception grade school was directly across the street from the church. Every year the good Felician Sisters would host a party for the kids in the church basement. I looked forward to this half day off from school and that kids-only party with the many treats at what they called the “bazaar.” There was ice cream and cake and all kind of games of chance. A free-for-all. One year I won what nowadays would be considered a true bazaar surprise. Literally, bizarre. I came home from the party to present my mother with a live chicken. Imagine giving a live chicken to some grade schooler as a prize to take home. Nowadays there would be repercussions. My mother said it was a capon. As she would always say, “capon = good soup.” We didn’t live on a farm, but in the city. The bird spent a few days in the basement, and then one day we had chicken soup. My mom knew how to make soup. From scratch. Starting with a live chicken, that’s from scratch. Also, homemade hand cut egg noodles. She would brag about how many egg yolks went into her noodles. Be that as it may. Simply delicious. Serve with pieces of meat and some cooked carrot and parsley root, garnished with finely chopped parsley. A prize winning bowl of soup. From a prize chicken.

Another time, and to my great surprise, the good Sisters thought we should be schooled in the social graces. We had dance class, in the church basement. Probably the first time I got to hold a girl in my arms. But, at a reasonable distance, mind you. All my best moves are still based on those core choreographic trainings. Fox Trot, the Waltz, and the Jitter Bug. Albeit, with a mélange of accumulated flourishes tacked on along the way. Trendy dances like the Chicken, the Twist, the James Brown, the Macarena, and the Lambada I had to learn elsewhere.

My crowning glory in my church basement days was performing a violin solo of the Ave Maria at the party for my eighth grade graduation.

That was as good as it was going to get. Downhill, from then on. But, it was a two-step process to get to the depths of depravity.

The first shoe toward my downfall was at the eighth grade class play. I was supposed to be the male lead in some little drama. I just couldn’t take it all that seriously, so they moved me into a lesser role; as a priest, no less. Well, even then, my irrepressible side couldn’t be completely covered. The church Pastor, Father Alexander Cendrowski, was a most stern individual. With the additional overlay of his priestly authority, he was severe. Without knowing exactly how to put it at the time, even then I recognized that he may have been a little too much in the role with his superior position. I instinctively disliked the man. If he had a heart only his mother and Jesus would know for sure. He liked his cigars. So I made sure that I went on stage that one and only performance with a big old cigar between my fingers. Years later I named my dog Alexander. I did love that dog, though.

Cendrowski and I had history.

On the plus side of the report card, I am remembering the time when in the first grade we were given the assignment to make butter by hand from cream. My mother set me up with a clean mason jar and a cup of heavy cream. Some interminable shaking later and there it was. We separated it from the whey and my mom put some of my home made butter in a small glass and covered it up with wax paper (pre-plastic wrap days) secured with a rubber band. After the class show and tell, it was deemed nice enough, and I delivered it across the street to the rectory for Father Cendrowski. I don't know if I got the credit for that, but I sure didn't have any with him when the chips were down. I think the adults then tended to view children in general as born devils in need of stern learning. Should be seen, and not heard.

The other shoe took a little bit of working to finally drop. A two part process.

We had another falling out later on when I was an altar boy. During the summer months we altar boys took turns serving at the daily Mass in the morning. Father Cendrowski must have known that to a young boy, having to get up to serve at Mass was not up there on the favorite things to do list. I did not object and dutifully and reliably kept my commitment. But one day I got sick to my stomach right in the middle of the service. I honestly was conflicted about whether or not to interrupt Father Cendrowskiand Godto tell him. [Or, should I say, "his" God. As in, he had the connection and would happily hook me up, if only I met his exacting standards. There's a book, "Priests and Politicians, the Mafia of the Soul".] I was not in a condition to ride it out, however; so I bailed, without explanation. Father Cendrowski later sent a boy over to my house to tell me not to come back to be an altar boy any more. Without inquiry or explanation. That was what the adults around me were like. Hard lessons. Infractions, strictly punished. You’re either good, or you’re bad. No gray. But, Father Cendrowski was particulary and needlessly harsh. In his arch sternness he was in fact a little gray himself. Literally.

A vague recollection has just resurfaced. I remember on several occasions as an altar boy in church and having this rather cool fantasy of me breaking up the altar steps with a sledge hammer. This was a recurring thought, and I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day with that one. Just seems rather like a premonition, in view of the unceremoneous razing of that church in the interests of MAKING ANOTHER CADILLAC. (How's that for tone, Ms. Phyllis?)

When it came time for high school one of the Good Sisters, Sister Maximia (really, that was her name!) suggested that I should attend a Jesuit prep school, a top school (still) in Michigan. Cendrowski (that's how my parents referred to him) got all up in high dudgeon about how I should be going to the local parochial high school, St. Stanislaus ("Stannies", in the hood). I'm sure he had his reasons, but such arch authority only proclaims and directs, never confides or explains. At the time I took it that Father Cendrowski had ideas about where my place should be. Just to give it the long view, the last time I saw St. Stanislaus it was a decrepit Baptist church in a bombed out neighborhood in inner city Detroit. My actual high school, The Universtity of Detroit High School is thriving. I am not gloating over this; St. Stanislaus was a most beautiful Catholic church and parish and we lament the hard times in Detroit.

[It does still burn me though, such abuse of authority. Then, and now; it is unacceptable. If you want to get a sense of my outrage, read the news.]

[Now that you got me going . . . I am also recalling how in college I belonged to a Catholic sodality sponsored on campus. We would meet and create personal projects as exercises in virtue. Father Cross, S.J. was the supervisor. He judged my idea to say hello to people I never would normally say hello to as falling short of the kind of effort one of God's own would step up for. But Cendrowski had forearmed me against such opinionated authority figures. (Thanks, Father Al; I think.) Remember when in the late 1960s/early 1970s there was the scandal of some Catholic priests getting married. Father Cross. Bingo. So, don't be fooled by those too good or too righteous, or too anything. [Too wordy, in my case.] Think former New York State Governor Mark Spitzer. Such a zealous crusader for the good. And, recently, he's back. But, don't really get me started.] That was a much needed cathartic side bar for me; even if it was a tortured diversion for you, dear reader. Do I have a reader right now? Hello? Anybody there?

Back to my tale.

The last straw came when after Sunday services from time to time the men and their sons would gather to have fellowship under what was called the auspices of the Holy Name Society. My dad and I would dutifully go to these events. But I never felt that I fit in and didn’t ever get the point of belonging to that group. Just what the heck did they do besides meeting a few times a year?

At one point when I was in my high school years Father Cendrowski invited me to join the Holy Name Society. I bluntly told him that I had nothing in common with those folks and didn’t see “what was in it for me.” The following Sunday I sat there mortified as Al got all up in the pulpit to tell the story of the selfish young man who could not see beyond what was in it for him.

Years later at my nephew’s graduation from high school I met up with Father Alexander. “Hello, Father Cendrowski. I’m David Wronski, remember me?” All he ever said and the last thing I ever heard him say was a flat serious, “I remember you.” As in, you are not worth further attention, you impudent miscreant. Ouch! Really snugged up my hairshirt of guilt. I took it like a man. But, as you must suspect, it still chafes a little to recall. What would Jesus do? Well, I know. And I would. Peace be to you Father. And, yet, I hope Our Lord gave Father Alexander a good talking to before opeing the pearly gates.

I do lament that Immaculate Conception Church no longer stands. CLICK here to read another essay where that beautiful gem of my youth is mentioned.

I often like to say that my downfall was that I was a “good” boy. By that I mean not following my inner voice but too often and needlessly succumbing to outside pressure. As a youngster you do have to do what you are told. But, slowly, if you are being properly raised, you start to develop the discrimination and discipline to choose based on what is right and appropriate for you and for the situation. And, to be brave to stand for what you believe and know even in the face of disapproval and dissent from the highest places.

These words ascribed to The Buddha put it succinctly: "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."